where do i go from here?

You know how when you reach such a great point in your life, and everything is going just the way you always hoped it would and then all of a sudden a heavy calm and mellow feeling creeps up on you? Kind of how a grayish storm cloud suddenly fills the bright blue skies of your sunny morning. Hmm that’s kind of the feeling that I have right now. I mean you wouldn’t believe how many great things have been happening to me ever since I stepped out of the DFW Airport and onto the Texas soil; well cement in my case, but you get what im saying. The thing is though…that no matter how many wonderful things have been happening to me, I still feel like something isn’t quite as it should be. Its almost as if things are too perfect, or maybe its just because I finally have everything in my life the way that I wanted it for sooo long…but is that really the case? Is this it? I mean whats next? Sometimes I wonder if this is the “BIG change” that I tlked about a few years ago…if this is what I was waiting for, or if theres something else. Texas has really changed my paradigms on many things, and has really kept me thinking. I know coming here was a good thing for me, and I know all this amazing stuff that has been happening to me was all in God’s hands, but sometimes idk I just wonder why now? Why not a few years ago, or why not a few more years from now?? What am I suppose to do with all that has happened to me so far? Im not really sure what my next step will be. I know what I had planned, and what I thought I was going to do, but now I have a totally different mindset, and im thinking about doing things and hoping for things that aren’t familiar with who I am. If that doesn’t make sense, im basically saying that for the past month or so that ive been in Texas, the things that I used to want in life, and that I used to desire have become dead to me. Its like ive totally switched who I was and have become this whole other person. There are still things that I desire, that I always have, but theres also so many new things and new plans that have occupied my mind. Maybe its because after all these years of waiting for the stuff that I basically had handed to me when I got to Texas, I realized that its not where I wanna be five years from now. I love how my life is right now, but I also know that I cant keep doing life like this for much longer. I long for the change that I don’t know...the change that I never knew, because I was so caught up in the change that im experiencing right now. This is the change that I thought would be a good place to stop at and dwell in, but for some reason no matter how happy I am dwelling in this change, im also ready to experience another change. I want to take advantage of all these new ideas that I have, because I know they have been on my mind for a reason, but I just don’t know what comes next. I don’t know how I should go about turning these thoughts and ideas into something, and I don’t know if I am ready to leave something so wonderful and step into something else that could totally be the wrong thing and then put me back in a place that I was a year or so ago.